Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize