took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
