I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
