OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize