awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
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