I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Come on in and take your pants off
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