Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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