i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
