Can i not drive my cunt home
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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