he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
