is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
