You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
