TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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