After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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