dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Your penis caused this!
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