They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
