I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
