The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
