where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize