after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
