I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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