so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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