gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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