I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
