He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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