I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
