I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
