I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
