My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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