Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
