You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize