do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
