Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Drake has all the answers
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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