At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
