is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
