this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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