this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize