Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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