I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
