Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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