There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
