She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize