my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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