He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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