His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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