she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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