I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize