Yo dont text me then not text me
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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