Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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