two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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