five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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