hell yes lets make some ravioli
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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