the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
