are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize