How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
whose ass print is on the piano?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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