I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
