I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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