You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
