a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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