i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
