The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
