if i can run in heels then i can drive
...so i touched it.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
