thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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